I've had the opportunities to better myself. I grew up in a nice home with a nice family. I got to go to college, and then got to go to graduate school. I worked hard to find a job, and ended up with something that isn't my career choice but pays the bills and keeps me in a pretty cushy environment (with health insurance) for now. And I've had lots of awesome friends along the way.
So sometimes it's hard to keep things in perspective. When my life gets a little out of whack, I have this tendency to fling myself on my bed and say, "O, WOE is I! Why are things not perfect?" as I toss bon bons into my mouth by the dozen.
All right, I'm more of a potato chips girl than bon bon girl, but as you can see, I do seem to over-dramatize.
If my social life isn't what I want it to be, why don't I change that? I could branch out, bit by bit. (I wish there were a sure-fire way to make more friends post-college, but I'll have to accept that there really isn't.)
If I want to be more accomplished, why don't I change that as well? I could read more books, and actually, you know, write. Why don't I write anymore? Except for in my journal, that is. And that's mostly talk about how Josh Groban and I are MFEO and how my work life is really getting in the way of my online roleplaying.
I looked back at my list of books read this year, and I really didn't care for what I saw-- which was essentially... not much. As of now, I read fewer than 20 books in 2010. Granted, this is more than some people read in their whole lives, but I come from a mother who reads a book a day-- consistently. And it's definitely the least I've read in many years. 2011, you will be better. For now, I'm devouring as many books as I can (mostly nonfiction) in December.
I also got my boyfriend to start reading Harry Potter, which is a literary success all on its own.
But back to this whole over-dramatization thing. I seem to let little setbacks define me entire day, week, or month. I go on Twitter and write about how terribly my morning started off, just because my windshield wiper popped off and refused to re-attach when the windchill was -2. Granted, that wasn't fun, but it doesn't have to define my whole day.
As for the larger setbacks, I don't have to let those define me either. Today, I'm going to ignore the stubborn scale, and go to the gym. Tonight, I'm going to ignore how empty my fridge is and find something tasty to whip up without complaining that I can't afford something better. I'm not going to check my email a thousand times waiting for something amazing to happen in my social life. I'm going to accept it how it is, and move forward.
Today my friend Jason said to me, "I know it's cliche and lame, but people grow apart sometimes." And I will probably have to accept that. Without throwing myself onto my bed dramatically.
This all sounds well and good, doesn't it? "All right, Mezzie! Get out there and make it better!" But my attitude isn't going to change overnight. I think it's going to have to be more about accepting the things I cannot change... you know the rest.
Love,
Mezz
~
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
Monday, December 6, 2010
merry and bright
All's fair in love and war, and this is a bit of both.
~ Ron Weasley, HP and the Deathly Hallows
Well, kids, it's my favorite month, and favorite time, of the whole year. I've got to wonder why I can't seem to get this thrilled about any other season, but hell, ya just can't beat Christmas. And you know, Hannakuh, and Yule, and all that good stuff. Honestly, I should be crying about my financial status right now (and maybe I will later, I've penciled it into my schedule), but mostly I'm just excited about being almost done with my Christmas shopping.
There was a time when I bought Christmas presents for all of my friends... back in high school and for awhile, in college too. How the heck did I manage that? This year I'm only buying for my parents, my brother, my sister, my boyfriend, and my cousin Emily (which I usually just go in on with my sister). Oh, and of course the obligatory Secret Santa at work, which should only cost $5 plus a few $1 gifts (hello, Dollar Tree). All in all, well under $100. Granted, that's still enough to make me wonder how I'm going to afford any of it, but... okay, I just realized this has become quite a long paragraph about money, and it's boring. The point is, Christmas shopping is fun-- I can't help enjoying giving and receiving.
My true gift this year is that things are getting shaken up at work, and I think it's going to be great. Plus, today I was handed an assignment that will have me writing articles about what the people in my department do. It will require some research and lots of talks with the psychometricians who work here, but it's a vote of confidence in me, and that's fantastic.
Plus, my new cube-mate will be a research assistant who only works 20 hours a week (and who really has no authority or, I assume, interest in what I do), so I'm pretty psyched about having a little more privacy around here.
Have I mentioned that my brother has mono? He had a terrible sore throat and some nausea over Thanksgiving, and he was having what we thought were pains from the kidney stone (his ninth!) that hasn’t dropped from his kidney yet—but those turned out to be liver/spleen pains from the mono, as was everything else. My dad drove to IC and picked him up because he was so sick by Tuesday he couldn’t drive himself. He has to finish his classes from home… major suck. He has more ailments than anyone I've ever known. Sprained ankles, food poisoning, appendicitis, chronic kidney stones, mono... you name it, he's had it.
Let's see, what else is new. As of December 1, I've been with the boyfriend for one year. Never had an anniversary before, but from what I can tell (seeing HP7 again and then talking about it for another two hours), they're my kind of thing. We had a very cozy weekend-- not only did the world get to wake up to a winter wonderland, on Saturday, we watched Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, and The Santa Clause, baked cookies, and went Christmas shopping at the mall plus two separate bookstores. I intend to make every weekend in December this fabulous!
Time to pack in and get ready to hit the gym. If I'm going to keep partaking in all these fabulous Christmas treats, I've got to burn some cals somehow. Christmas workout list, here I come!
Love,
Mezz
~
~ Ron Weasley, HP and the Deathly Hallows
Well, kids, it's my favorite month, and favorite time, of the whole year. I've got to wonder why I can't seem to get this thrilled about any other season, but hell, ya just can't beat Christmas. And you know, Hannakuh, and Yule, and all that good stuff. Honestly, I should be crying about my financial status right now (and maybe I will later, I've penciled it into my schedule), but mostly I'm just excited about being almost done with my Christmas shopping.
There was a time when I bought Christmas presents for all of my friends... back in high school and for awhile, in college too. How the heck did I manage that? This year I'm only buying for my parents, my brother, my sister, my boyfriend, and my cousin Emily (which I usually just go in on with my sister). Oh, and of course the obligatory Secret Santa at work, which should only cost $5 plus a few $1 gifts (hello, Dollar Tree). All in all, well under $100. Granted, that's still enough to make me wonder how I'm going to afford any of it, but... okay, I just realized this has become quite a long paragraph about money, and it's boring. The point is, Christmas shopping is fun-- I can't help enjoying giving and receiving.
My true gift this year is that things are getting shaken up at work, and I think it's going to be great. Plus, today I was handed an assignment that will have me writing articles about what the people in my department do. It will require some research and lots of talks with the psychometricians who work here, but it's a vote of confidence in me, and that's fantastic.
Plus, my new cube-mate will be a research assistant who only works 20 hours a week (and who really has no authority or, I assume, interest in what I do), so I'm pretty psyched about having a little more privacy around here.
Have I mentioned that my brother has mono? He had a terrible sore throat and some nausea over Thanksgiving, and he was having what we thought were pains from the kidney stone (his ninth!) that hasn’t dropped from his kidney yet—but those turned out to be liver/spleen pains from the mono, as was everything else. My dad drove to IC and picked him up because he was so sick by Tuesday he couldn’t drive himself. He has to finish his classes from home… major suck. He has more ailments than anyone I've ever known. Sprained ankles, food poisoning, appendicitis, chronic kidney stones, mono... you name it, he's had it.
Let's see, what else is new. As of December 1, I've been with the boyfriend for one year. Never had an anniversary before, but from what I can tell (seeing HP7 again and then talking about it for another two hours), they're my kind of thing. We had a very cozy weekend-- not only did the world get to wake up to a winter wonderland, on Saturday, we watched Christmas Vacation, Scrooged, and The Santa Clause, baked cookies, and went Christmas shopping at the mall plus two separate bookstores. I intend to make every weekend in December this fabulous!
Time to pack in and get ready to hit the gym. If I'm going to keep partaking in all these fabulous Christmas treats, I've got to burn some cals somehow. Christmas workout list, here I come!
Love,
Mezz
~
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Shutterfly
I'm pretty excited about the present I made for my mom for Christmas this year. It's totally filled with really, REALLY cheesy captions, but as my brother said... that's what Mom loves more than anything in the world.
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